Let’s be honest… Some Nigerian boys don’t just make kitchen mistakes — they commit culinary crimes.
Crimes that can make a woman rethink her future, her destiny, and her relationship status in 10 seconds. Here are the top 5 kitchen disasters boys keep doing that make women fear them like ghost story.
1. Cooking With All the Seasoning in the House — As If Maggi Is Free
Some boys cook like they’re fighting the food.
One packet of noodles?
4 maggi cubes.
Soup?
Half the salt container.
Rice?
Pepper so much that even the ancestors sneeze.
Calm down, my brother.
Seasoning is not “buy 1, use 10.”
Real men know balance.
Because if a woman tastes your food once and starts coughing like generator plug is loose…
She will fear you forever.
2. Leaving the Kitchen Like a Crime Scene After Cooking
There are two types of boys:
1. Those who cook and clean.
2. And those who cook and leave the kitchen looking like Thanos fought Iron Man there.
Oil on the floor.
Spoilt onions on the counter.
Plates everywhere.
Palm oil on the ceiling — nobody knows how it got there.
If your kitchen looks like Netflix crime documentary after cooking, women will run.
Your relationship destiny? Shaky.
3. Burning Food While Pressing Phone (The Classic Bachelor Disaster)
This one is a national epidemic.
You put rice on fire…
Then you open TikTok…
Then you say, “Let me just check one message…
Before you know:
Smoke everywhere.
Your pot is black.
Your rice now looks like charcoal training school.
Your neighbors think you’re burning your past mistakes.
Women fear boys who burn food too much.
Because if you can forget food on fire, you can forget anniversary
4. Pouring Too Much Oil — Like You’re Starting a Cooking Gas Company
Some boys:
Small stew?
One full keg of oil.
Scrambled egg?
Oil reaching wrist level.
Fried plantain?
You’ll think they’re deep-frying a car engine.
When women see boys cook like this, they get scared.
Too much oil is how you join “weight gain WhatsApp group” without meaning to.
Please, we beg:
Food is not supposed to float like boat on Lagoon.
5. Acting Like Instructions Are Insulting Their Destiny
Recipe says:
“Cook for 10 minutes.”
My guy will cook for 45.
Recipe says:
“Add salt to taste.”
He will add salt until it tastes like Atlantic Ocean.
Recipe says:
“Stir occasionally.”
He will stir once and start watching football highlights.
Women want men who listen.
Because if you cannot follow simple cooking instructions, how will you follow relationship instructions?
Final Thoughts
Nigerian boys, we love you — but please, stop these kitchen behaviors before you chase good women away.
A woman will be watching you cook like:
“Is this the man I want to build future with or the man that will send me to early heaven?”
Clean up.
Reduce salt.
Use brain.
Stop burning food.
Stop drowning everything in oil.
And above all, respect the kitchen.
Because in this economy, one wrong culinary move can send you back to bachelorhood with speed.
